A-Hole

A-Hole is a polite way of calling someone an asshole. It is a vulgar expletive considered to be profane by most people. It is used to describe someone who is of low moral fiber, who behaves discordantly with acceptable norms and is often combative with others. Simply put, A-holes are just all-around jerks. In fairness, the word is actually very subjective in terms of who it describes and is subject to interpretation.

In terms of movies, A-holes are found just about everywhere. In most cases, they serve as the antagonist of a film, but this is hardly a truism. One can be an antagonist or "villain", but this doesn't mean they are necessarily an A-hole. Conversely, certain protagonists may also be A-holes. Just because a character serves a loftier purpose in life, does not mean he or she is somehow immune to being branded an A-hole.

A fine primo example of a non-villainous a-hole is good ole' boy Ronnie White from the 2007 remake of Halloween. This guy was a biker laid up with an injury who had nothing better to do with this time but harangue his girlfriend, Deborah Myers, and insult her children (though he did admit that Deborah's teenage daughter, Judith, had a "fine dumper"). Ronnie's particular brand of sensitivity yielded several colorful comments such as, "Maybe I will choke the chicken and purge my snork all over those flappy-ass tits!", "That is some deep-ass serious faggoty-ass shit!", "Fuck you, sit on my pole right now, bitch!", and with regards to Deborah's young son Michael, "He's probably a queer! He's gonna grow up, end up cutting his dick and balls off and changing his name to Michelle!" Truly, a lovely individual.

In Freddy vs. Jason, there was a teenager named Trey Cooper, who was dating a girl named Gibb Smith. In addition to being a total a-hole, Trey made disparaging comments about Gibb's smoking habit, chastising her for kissing him after having a cigarette. The two then planned on going into a bedroom to have sex. When Gibb didn't move as quickly as Trey would've liked, he snapped at her saying, "I'm not going to ask you twice!" After sex, he made another comment about Gibb's smoking, encouraging her to wash her hair because she smelled like menthols.

Another such jerk was a minor character featured in the 2011 superhero fantasy film Captain America: The First Avenger. In the film, a scrawny Steve Rogers is in a movie theater watching a World War II news reel. An impatient theater goer, anxious to see the actual film succeeding the news footage, began making obnoxious remarks. This caused Rogers to speak his mind, which ultimately led to the jerk taking him outside and beating the snot out of him in a back alley. Despite his perseverance, there was no way Rogers could win this fight and he had to rely upon the timely intervention of his best friend James Buchanan Barnes to save his hide. Barnes told the loud jerk to "pick on someone your own size", and then punched him. As the jerk turned away, Barnes booted him in the back-side and sent him packing.

Kids are A-holes too!
Adults are not the only ones who are capable of being a-holes. An argument can be made that children are just as proficient at being class-A jerkfaces as much as any grown up. Some might even go so far as to say that kids are even bigger a-holes than adults. No matter how sweet, tender or dear the child may be... don't be fooled; inside of each one of them beats the heart of a true a-hole. Kids will pull on puppy dog tails for fun, they'll bully smaller children, they'll break your stuff, and they'll poop their pants. Yes, even babies are not exempt from being branded an a-hole.

Take for example, some of the little turds that used to hang out at Camp Crystal Lake. You think Jason Voorhees would've become the mass-murdering psycho-pants that he is if it weren't for the actions of a bunch of jackass adolescents? Sure, some might blame it on the inattentive camp counselors, who should have been keeping an eye on Jason on the day he drowned in the lake rather than making nookie. But who was it that pushed him into that lake? A-hole kids, that's who! As an extended flashback sequence in Freddy vs. Jason reveals, it was a bunch of bullies who herded frightened Jason Voorhees to the end of a dock, forcing him to fall into it and drown.

And don't even get me started what kids become during the holidays.


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