Red Dwarf: Back in the Red (Part 3)

"Back in the Red (Part 3)" is the third episode of series eight of the British science fiction comedy series Red Dwarf and the forty-seventh episode of the series overall. It was directed by Ed Bye with a script written by Doug Naylor. It first aired on BBC Two on Thursday, March 4th, 1999.

Quotes

 * Rimmer: Maybe you haven't noticed this, but we're gonna be spending the next two years in the Brig. Two years with the scum of the universe; hardened criminals; deranged droids. People so unbalanced and debauched they couldn't even get elected as President of the United States.

....
 * Rimmer: Thornton.
 * MP Thornton: No-one's allowed in there, Rimmer. Beat it.
 * Rimmer: Angus Thornton. Age 36. Middle name : Lionel. Inside leg measurement 29, neck size 16. Circumsised.
 * MP Thornton: How d'you know all this?!
 * Rimmer: Jazz fan. Good credit rating. Once admitted to hospital totally naked and attached to... the suction end of a vacuum cleaner.
 * MP Thornton: This is slanderous. Filthy, stinking, slanderous slime that you just made up! Who told you?
 * Rimmer: Want all the crew to know? Take a cigarette break. Five minutes.

....
 * Rimmer: If only I hired a smarter lawyer, instead of the brain-dead, pompous, stupid-haired git I ended up with.
 * Lister: You defended yourself.
 * Rimmer: Yes, and I don't need reminding of that, thank you very much.

....
 * Lister: If I say who I thinks responsible for this it'll get cut too, but it's him, I know it's him, you can bet on it. And if I ever catch up with him, I'm gonna cut off both his...